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10 ways to deal with Facebook withdrawal

September 23, 2010

Earlier tonight there was a DNS error on Facebook, preventing people from using the big white and blue bastard of social networking. In case this happens again, here is Quitegeist’s 10 tips to beating sudden Facebook withdrawal.

1- Go to a local cafe. Sit near some people you don’t know very well. Eavesdrop on their conversation.

2-When one of them says something you approve of, suddenly jump up next to them, yell “I LIKE THIS!” and give them a cheerful thumbs up.

3- Remain stood next to the people, holding your thumb upright, as they continue to talk endlessly on topics you don’t care about.

4- Gradually begin to regret your actions. Eventually put your thumb down. Slowly walk away, hoping nobody remembers you were there to begin with.

5- Get an admin or data entry job. Be sure to inform everybody you’ve ever known every time you complete a task. This is basically the same as playing Mafia Wars, Farmville, Belm City etc.

6- Find an old school photo. In biro, add wrinkles to the faces of people you didn’t know very well.

7- Write a list of every band, film, book and television show you like. Glue it to your chest.

8- You are planning to go out and want to know if your friend would like to come. Travel to their house while they’re elsewhere, break in, and write “Out tonight?” on their wall.

9- Your friend has phoned in work sick so you can both go to Amsterdam for the weekend. Take compromising pictures of him, write the exact date and time on them, and put them somewhere that his boss will probably see.

10- Arrange for a group of people you met once or twice to sit in a circle. Sit in the middle of the circle and passively listen as they list things they like.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Wiss permalink
    September 23, 2010 10:44 PM

    Facebook is better then life and with it gone I can no longer continue living. Goodbye x

  2. September 24, 2010 10:26 PM

    I Like this *thumbs up*

  3. November 22, 2010 8:12 PM

    irony…..i really really like this 🙂 I just quit Facebook myself and needed some consolation about whether i did the right thing.

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