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Is it possible to have an argument with Google?

September 17, 2010

About a week ago Quitegeist posed the question “Is it possible to have a conversation with Google?”, then using strenuous, painstaking research we eventually determined the answer- “No, Google is a bit of a prick.” This poses a new question. If Google is such a prick, is it possible to goad the webby little bastard into an argument?

Question: Is it possible to have an argument with Google?

So, I start the attempted argument by searching “Oi, dickhead!” Google presents me with a website trying to give me free MP3 ringtones. I suppose thats quite friendly, really, although it’s possible that Google is only offering me this gift because it thinks I might be about to mug it.

I’m disappointed. I wanted a row. So I take it a step further and search “You can shove your free ringtone up your arse”. This results in a site trying to show me how to create free MP3 ringtones on my iphone. I had been wondering, actually. Google doesn’t seem to be biting. Time to bring out the big dogs.

”Shut your flipping MOUTH! Gosh!” Yeah, I went there. Searching for this sends me to a site called 1000 Awesome Things, specifically the page devoted to Awesome Thing Number 534, “Catching Food In Your Mouth”, which helpfully advises me that I should learn how to do this awesome thing with something small like corn before moving on to grapes and eventually, once I’m a pro, something bigger than my mouth such as an apple or corn on the cob. “You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye”. That’s the best advice I’ve heard all day.

Screw this jive. Google is being too nice. “Just show me funny pictures of Prince.”

Answer: No. It’s a fucking search engine. We’ve been over this before.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. September 18, 2010 6:58 AM

    Hilarious xD

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