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New Crap: The “Smash The, Like, System Or Whatever” Edition

September 5, 2010

So, like, somebody has come up with these things that are sort of like discs or whatever, right? And they somehow put music and films on them, and you put them in machines or whatever and they’ll, like, play the music and films off the discs. No big deal.

NEW CRAP

Quitegeist’s attempt to review the latest entertainment releases without having seen or heard them and without the aid of Google.

So look its like the dude from that one band The Killers. Benjamin Floors or whatever, no big deal. And he’s all like, “I’ve done some songs and they’re on this one album called Flamingo or whatever, and they, like, sound just like, like, that one band I’m in called The Killers, or whatever. No big deal.” And its sort of, you know, out tomorrow, on a CD or for free on bits of the internet. So are some other CDs by, like, this one sort of heavy band called Stone Sour who are sort of, you know, aggro, and also this one band called Hurts who I’ve never even heard or whatever. That Wilson dude from that one band The Beach Boys has also done this one CD where he, like, “Reimagines Gerschwin”, or whatever, no big deal. It is called That One Dude Called Wilson From That Band The Beach Boys Reimagines Gerschwin Or Whatever. He’s done a lot of acid so he might reimagine Gerschwin as, like, a giant robot with crisps for teeth or whatever. Might be worth looking into. Some, like, old albums are also out by something that is called “a Jason Donovan”. Smash the system!

There is this, like, film out called Kick Ass. It’s, like, you know. Its about this one guy who, like, is a superhero or whatever, no big deal. At first he’s not a superhero then he’s all like, sort of, “I’m going to, like, be a superhero, or whatever. No big deal” and then, you know, he is one after that. It has that one dude off Con Air in it who’s all like “Put the, you know, bunny back in the, like, box, or whatever”. Scrubs Season 8 is out as well, I guess. Thats about these, you know, doctors, or whatever. Plus, like, Doctor Who Series 5 Volume 4 comes out. That is the series where that one dude David Tennant was all like “Nah, mate” so they had to replace him with Dappy out of N-Dubz.

Here is the thing though- tomorrow is the release of, like, THE most important film what has ever been made by this, like, genius artist or whatever. The film is called Exit Through The Gift Shop or whatever and it is by, like, THE Banksy. He is wicked, man. He proper smashes the system. He’s done this one painting where it is like a copper and that, but he is also, like, a mouse. That is subversive, man. Your mind has just been blown, man. He has done this other one where it is like a child, but when you look closer he is taking, you know, a piss, but when you look even closer he is taking the piss on like a sign that says like “Poverty” or whatever on it. BOOM! There goes your mind again, man. It has made you think. You are thinking NOW. But my favourite one is like a picture of, like, a dog, but written on the dog’s back or whatever is the word “Government”. I TOLD YOU?! You are now thinking MORE. So, like, drop what you had planned tomorrow or whatever and get this film man, it will help you, like, smash the system or whatever. No big deal.

IN A BIT.

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